Several people are over at my Madison apartment to meet and play with Vito, my new kitten. For no apparent reason, one of my guests is this extremely arrogant bitch from my high school graduating class, whom I haven't seen since the graduation ceremony.

Vito's really excited, because I've purchased him canned food after a recommendation from the vet. He loves it, and gobbles up a whole small can in a matter of minutes. (I did buy Vito canned food yesterday. The vet recommended that I give him the extra fat and protein found in canned food, since he's got very little body fat at present.)

My guests and I are looking at pictures of my trip with Scott to Bonnaroo. I'm wearing these large sunglasses in most pictures, and my bitchy guest happens to comment on how hideous they are in a very passive-aggressive manner. She also lets me know that it's a good thing those sunglasses are now broken, since they must be an embarrassment to wear.

Soon after, Vito, who's been making weird gulping sounds for a minute or two after eating his meal, climbs onto the bitch's lap. Shortly thereafter, he upchucks all over her skirt. I am delighted; instant karma does exist. Thanks, Vito.

I can only recall parts of two dreams from last night. I should start putting paper and pen by my bed. When I wake up in the middle of the night after an interesting dream, I always think to myself, "I'll have to remember this for the blog." I go back to sleep, and I seldom recall that interesting dream beyond knowing that it happened.

1. I'm walking outside. I smell something in the air, something sickly sweet, and I begin to vomit uncontrollably. The only relief in this is that I am alone; I'm not embarrassing myself in front of others. (This was not a pleasant dream. Also, this dream woke me up and, while I did not actually vomit, I did drool on the pillow. This is almost as unappealing to find on your pillow as yak.)

2. One of my friends informs me that she's not really into her boyfriend any longer, and vice versa. She says that they're going to wait for a few weeks this summer to see if their lukewarm feelings pass, but she anticipates that they will break up in the near future. I am overjoyed, as I've tagged her boyfriend as an egotistical asshat from the start, and I pictured their relationship ending in her heart being stomped upon as a result of his philandering ways, not in a painless fizzle. (I wish that, in reality, this relationship would just evanesce. I'm not optimistic, however; this will probably last way longer than it ever should have and end in her tears. Here's hoping he surprises me with some modicum of subtlety in breaking up. On a related note, the ability to watch and quote a plethora of mediocre movies and TV shows does not give one a personality.)

Scott just bought this sandwich for $2. He is very proud of the fact that the sandwich was so cheap, and he keeps bragging about the deal that he got. After he eats the sandwich, he starts vomiting uncontrollably. Everywhere.

That's all I got.