I am a professional competitive eater. My partner (a very thin Japanese man) and I are training for an event that will occur in two weeks - it's a brat-eating contest, and we want to be well prepared. We start off with a large Caesar salad split between us. The salad was made in an industrial-sized mixing bowl, and it looks like it can hold maybe ten gallons. After we scarf the salad down easily, we begin to eat ice cream. It's flavored with chocolate and peanut butter, and we're eating out of a fifteen gallon cardboard carton, similar to the ones they have in ice cream shops, only bigger. Ice cream is one of my favorite foods to eat, so I'm wolfing it down the hatch much faster than my partner. Suddenly, a Mr. Miyagi-like character steps out of the shadows and raps my partner on the head with a cane. This coach character lets my partner know in no uncertain terms that if he falls behind me again, he will be severely punished.


R said...

i'm pretty sure this is the best one ever. mostly because of the last dude, though. awesome.