1. A great poli sci professor I have taken a class with is leaving. I'm saddened, because Sarah will never get to take a class with him here at UW (So far, all this is actually true). As I'm walking somewhere outside, I run into Kristina, who's just coming from the professor's going-away party. She points me in the right direction, and I head to his party. The party ends up being a large-scale kegger, and I find and say hello/final goodbyes to my professor. I find myself very attracted to him at this party. However, he's got a wife and two kids, and is as good as gold, so I'm not going to push it into crossing the line with him, even if he'd be into it.

2. My second dream was something about working in a research lab that studies fingerprints. I fucked up some sort of lab technique and my grad student was all over my ass about it. That's all I remember.

3. I'm in my dentist's office at home for an appointment. We're about ready to get started, and the dentist takes out one of those little mouth mirrors and checks me out. To my horror, I remember that prior to going to the office, I've been munching on Cheese-Its, and they're stuck everywhere in my teeth. I go back to my house to brush my teeth (don't know why I couldn't have brushed them in the dentist's office). By the time I get back, the hygienist informs me that we've got to get going; I've only got an hour left on my scheduled appointment. She's smoking hot and wearing an extremely low-cut shirt. As she's getting everything ready for the dentist, her boobs keep falling out of her shirt. When I inform her of this, far from being embarrassed, she starts doing a little sexy dance for me. I am flabbergasted. Suddenly, about four or five photographers with professional cameras bust in and inform me that they've got a great picture they have to take. They take a very high-resolution picture of a fly sitting on my chest and run out again. Then, the dentist comes in the room, and everything about the appointment returns to mundane normality.

1. I am dating two men. One is my old physics TA, very sweet and somewhat awkward. The other is nowhere near as nice to me, but he's a hundred times more attractive. Unbelievable-looking, really. I'm seeing them both behind each other's backs, and, unfortunately, physics guy catches me with gorgeous guy. He pulls me aside and tells me that he's not going to put up with this; I've got to make a decision. I remember feeling very upset, but I didn't make a decision in the dream. Interesting moral dilemma, though.

2. Though I'm not a member of the Hoofers sailing club, I've convinced one of my friends who is a member to loan me one of their small sailboats. I take the boat out onto Lake Monona. It's a beautiful, windy day, and I'm having a fantastic time on the water. However, given my klutzy tendencies, this sailing skill that I'm suddenly displaying is bound not to last. I get too close to the shore and crash the boat into some rocks, leaving behind a couple of pieces of sailboat that look, um, important for continued sailboat functioning. In fact, I'm barely able to get the boat back to the Hoofers dock. The people in charge are furious with me and my friend. They send us out to the crash site with scuba gear and assign us to look for pieces of sailboat wreckage. Unfortunately, I'm not certified for scuba, and I'm apprehensive about getting the bends. I refuse to scuba without training, leaving my pissed-off Hoofers friend to do all the grunt work.

I'm in my apartment looking for my new kitten. I already have a cat; I call her Sensi, like Sensimilia, Kori's cat, but she's white instead of black. This new kitten is a few weeks old, just big enough to fit from my wrist to fingertips in my hand. She's also completely white. However, this kitten is extremely shy.

To get her to come out, I behave like a cat, as I learned in my human-animal relations class. I sit quietly and scan left to right across the room. Even though I'm interested in the kitten, I don't act like it. She eventually comes over to say hello. I realize right away that she's actually a he, and he's not been neutered yet (I should certainly get on that). Good thing I haven't gotten around to naming him yet. For some reason, when he tries to get away from me, he starts squirming like a normal cat, but then collapses flat, like a flattened box. I get really worried about him, as I haven't seen this behavior before. Someone beside me reassures me that he's seen this before. It won't be a problem; he'll "reinflate" to normal kitten size in a few minutes, once his stress levels go down.

I'm getting back to my apartment after spending a Sunday night at Scott's apartment in Watertown. Much to my surprise, I don't live in my State Street apartment with Tiff, but in a larger apartment with all my old roommates except Katie. I'm not upset that I'm living with these particular people, but the place is a wreck. Even my room (I at least had my own room, thank God) is totally torn apart for some reason. All the artwork up on my walls has been moved around to different places in the apartment. Bridget's cooking pesto spaghetti in the kitchen and it's getting everywhere. I'm getting all worked up, because I don't have much time to undo this damage before I have to go to class. Briana pulls me aside and admits that this mess is driving her totally crazy, too. She calms me down.

For some reason, I had sex at the end of this dream. I don't remember who I was having sex with at all.

Earlier in the night, I also dreamt that I was a mobster (due to the fact that I watched The Sopranos last night before bed). I don't have details, but I'm pretty sure that I killed a few people without remorse.

Scott, Courtney, and I are going into a convenience store which we frequent. It's early in the morning, and we're surprised to find the front doors unlocked and wide open with no employees on duty inside. Nothing in the store seems out of place, but after a look at the employee schedule in the break room, we realize that our friend Hassett is supposed to be working right now. We quickly go to the front doors and deter potential customers from entering. A few minutes later, Hassett shows up. He apologizes, says he's been working far too much recently. Then he notices that the store's already unlocked, we're already inside. He's shocked, and after a second check of the employee schedule, we know the guilty party who failed to lock the doors to the store last night is none other than my 11th grade precalc teacher (Kori and I, and probably everyone else, just loathed this guy).

It's time to go to school, so I jump into the van with Mama, who's waiting in the store's parking lot. She drives me to my old high school. My first class is precalc, and I'm so thrilled that I can blackmail my precalc teacher. The next time he's a dick, I'll just threaten to bring the hammer down on this whole convenience store irresponsibility, and he's have to back the fuck off.

I don't have details of last night's dream. However, in the evening, I watched as sneak preview of "Knocked Up", the new Judd Apatow film, at the Union.

Consequently, I dreamt that I was pregnant. Not the initial shock of pregnancy, mind you, but second-trimesterish with a significant belly developing. I remember how surreal it was to have this body with something growing inside it, but I've got no detail. I don't even know who the father was.

1. I'm at home and Mama tells me that Laura and Emily are going on this cool canoe trip. It's been organized through my old high school somehow and, from the sound of it, the trip's going to be a couple of days long. She asks me if I'd like to go. I haven't been in a canoe for a while, and this trip sounds like a great idea. I get busy packing for the trip. Among the items packed are half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and my pink bikini (which seems ill-suited for use on a canoe trip). Everything's packed in this black backpack that I bought at Afterthoughts when I was a kid.

Anyway, we get to the launch point and there's a handful of kids and our guides there. For some reason, someone brought a monkey with us. This monkey is the polar opposite of the gorilla in the last post; he's playful and friendly and just mischievous enough to keep us interested but not piss us off. I'm really into the idea of this trip and am ready to get rolling. Just then, my mom asks me if I brought the money for the trip. She drops this bomb on me that the canoe trip costs $1700. Since I definitely don't feel like emptying my checking account for a trip I thought was free, I can't go. Laura, Emily, and the monkey push off and leave me.

2. I am in the Sparta library (I haven't been there in years, on account of I owe them a chunk of change in fines from high school). I walk into a side room that's used for meetings. In the room are a dozen or so naked people, mostly couples. They're engaging in a raucous partner-swapping orgy. I'm not really into the whole orgy scene, but I do see one guy I'm attracted to. He's delivering a news broadcast in the corner of the room and looks suspiciously like the guy who played Doogie Howser, MD. While he's on camera, I go under his desk and begin having sex with him (I don't understand the mechanics of this, either). I'm amazed at his composure; he continues to deliver the news without much ado. Fast forward a few minutes, and we're all dressed, sitting in on a Q&A session for the people who organized the orgy. They're asking questions to its patrons -- what did you like, what didn't you like, etc. A woman gives me her business card and says that we have to do this again sometime. She looks like one of the women on Real Housewives of Orange County, but the name on her business card is the same as the name of the dean of students here.

I go upstairs in the library and look for a journal article about Dickens. They keep all the journals behind the desk in the library, and I'm struck at how few there are here compared with the libraries at the UW. Instead of my article, the librarian mistakenly hands me a stack of papers that Kori wrote in middle school. Included is the one she wrote about the kid who painted his car with a illustrated version of "American Pie", including "The day the music died" scrawled over the hood. I'm excited to show the papers to Kori, but the librarian won't let me keep them, says they're a matter of public record now. I resolve to break into the library later and get them.