I only remember one part of my dream last night. I am weighing myself, and I'm amazed to find I've lost ten pounds. Amazed because my body hasn't changed one iota. I am pretty pissed about this, given that it doesn't make any sense.

I've got little to nothing about this dream. Scott and I are driving around looking for a restaurant that's got one of those carts on Library Mall, Kakilima. It's an Indonesian food cart I've heard great things about. I have no idea whether they have a real restaurant location or not. We're both getting frustrated because not matter how long or far we drive, we can't find the damn place.

1. (Sat. 5/26) My family and I are in a high rise apartment building. We're up on one of the highest floors -- I would venture to guess that we are 30 stories up in the air. We're in one of the apartments, just standing around chatting and enjoying the view of some city we're in. Suddenly, a coach bus careens down the street, followed by multiple police cruisers and a fire engine or two. The bus swerves to a halt, and a man exits, brandishing a large shotgun and strapped with ammunition. It's obvious at this point that he's taken the bus hostage. As SWAT teams assemble, police negotiators attempt to talk him down.

The building begins to shake. It's an earthquake, and we're in a high rise. This is a less than thrilling development. I remember that we're supposed to stay where we are and just get in a doorframe or hallway, but my family sprints for the stairs, as the elevators are disabled. We run out of the building in time. The earthquake has all but stopped.

Mama decides we need transport and hijacks a rather awkward van. We all jump in, and soon enough, the police are chasing us instead of the guy with hostages. We go on a long and dangerous chase through residential neighborhoods. At one point, Mama dodges the police for long enough to force us out of the van. She doesn't want us to be caught as well. Eventually, the police nab her. We feel guilty and decide to turn ourselves in. If she's going down, all of us are going down together.

2. (last night) I'm on the UW-LaCrosse campus for unknown reasons. I'm at some sort of party, and many, many people from my high school are present. Most are my age and older: friends that I graduated with. I see one individual who I dated. I know that I'm looking better than him, so I decide to try and make him jealous with tales of my success in college, loving boyfriend, blah blah blah. He knows that I'm trying to bait him and elects to ignore me. I move on.

Soon, I'm running with another high school crush across campus. No word on why we're running. We duck through a construction site. There's no work going on, but I'm definitely aware that this is some sort of punishable offense, and I don't appreciate that this dude forced me along on his shortcut. At the other end of the site, we run into one of my mom's friends. She says that she's supposed to take me home instead of my mom today. I am suspicious; I ask her what the password is, and she doesn't know. Since she's obviously making an attempt to kidnap me, we escape from her clutches before she has a chance at me.

I am with George Costanza at a Wal-Mart-like store. We are both trying to impress the same woman, a beautiful blonde. It's not clear whether I'm Jerry or myself. For some reason, I decide to back off and help George in his conquest. We're preparing with this blonde for some type of birthday party. The blonde is really liking me at this point, so I divert her with George to go pick out a cake while I try to find birthday candles. It does give her and George a little alone time, but this doesn't do anything to make her more attracted to him. When we meet up outside the store, she's trying to shake George. She does manage to get away from him; George is distraught and has no idea what he did to frighten her off.

The strangest thing about this dream is that it wasn't funny, unlike Seinfeld. It was just about George getting shut down. Also, I saw both George and Kramer almost completely naked. They were very hairy individuals in my mind's eye, which I don't think is too far away from the truth.

My family and I are all training to use guns. We're at a firing range taking shots at targets downfield. I remember that accuracy was very important; all of us are trying to be very reliable with our weapons. Mostly, I thought we all looked silly with the big noise-damping headphones on. I never thought we'd be able to pull this off (although I never knew what "this" was; all I knew was that our training was vitally important.).

I am being followed by two children. It's all very much like this creepy movie I saw on Sci-Fi as a child with Kirstie Alley in it - I just googled it and found Village of the Damned. In all honesty, the movie is pretty stupid. There's some sort of meteor attack thing on a village, and the next day, all the village women realize they've become pregnant. They all deliver on the same day; all their children are totally evil. Anyway, back to the dream... They're dressed identically, and they're obviously tracking my movements. They're pretty good at following me, too; I'm trying to juke them off-course, and they're not biting.

I also had a strange dream based, I think, upon the opening of A Wrinkle in Time. That's what happens when you read crazy children's books before you go to bed.

I am in some sort of post-apocalyptic future. Everything looks similar to the movie 28 Days Later -- no one's on the streets, etc. I've got some sort of skateboard-looking device that I can ride faster than a person can run, and it's helped me escape from undesirables several times. I and a few other people, including Scott, are hiding out in an apartment that looks a little like Scott's, with the sliding glass door. One bad guy (they weren't exactly like 28 Days Later -- no "rage", just bad guys) has stolen my cell phone. I catch him with it in the bathroom, tackle him and pin him down in the tub, forcing him to fork it over. It is good to recover the cell phone, as we were teaching ourselves to make radio broadcasts, which hardly seems like the most useful method of 2-way communication.

I also dreamt later that I worked in a brothel. I think this was an extension of the same dream, as everything was unsafe. If you went outside, you had to sneak around. In the brothel, though, people were generally safe from the outside world. I remember only one client. He was using me to figure out if he was gay or not. He was gay.

I went to somebody's bat mitzvah. I've actually never been to a bat or bar mitzvah before, so my subconscious made it like a cross between a birthday party and prom. Also, during the ceremony before the party, I was in temple with a few friends. I've also never been in a temple before, so in my dream, it was like a Catholic church, except there were no crosses or stained glass, and it was much better lit. The person being bat mitzvah'ed had to read out of the Torah, so I got to hear what my brain thinks Hebrew sounds like.

I have no idea what made this dream happen last night, but it seems like it was a real creative step for my brain.

Edit: Courtney has pointed out that I have been to a reform temple once with her, so my brain is probably drawing from that experience.

I studied neuroscience all day yesterday. Consequently, most of my dreams revolved around the brain.

I dreamt that there was some sort of evil scientist out there doing research. I was observing him somehow. He would force his subjects to administer an electric shock to themselves. The shock looked painful, although it wasn't enough to knock anyone over when they pressed the button to receive it (All subjects were standing, all of the time). To motivate subjects to cooperate, the scientist threatened them with a much more powerful electric shock, which he could apply to them at any time. If a subject didn't administer a shock to themselves when they were ordered to, the scientist would give them a jolt capable of sending most subjects into violent seizures. Since all subjects were held in the same room, uncooperative ones were basically examples for the rest. Compliance was high with the scientist's requests, for the most part.

I also dreamt about neglect, which results from a lesion to the posterior parietal cortex. I was treating a patient with contralateral neglect; he hadn't dressed the left half of his body and described things monocularly. It was interesting.

The last dream I can recall involved some sort of high school project. For the project, each student was given a sample of marijuana. I don't know what the project entailed, but my dream picked up on the conclusion of the project, at which time each student was required to turn their pot sample back in to the teacher. Pretty much every student was coming up with ingenious ways to smuggle most of their pot sample out of the school. This was incredibly amusing. I guess it's always funny to outwit teachers when you're in high school.

1. I am in my woods at home, building a tree fort with a good male friend of mine. Mostly I'm coaching his actions from the ground, as I'm not really handy with tools and might hammer myself to a tree. In an effort to shift the entire structure a few feet in one direction, we accidentally break several branches off of the tree and boards shower to the ground. In defeat, I lay down on the ground looking up at the perfectly blue sky. My friend lays down right next to me. I normally avoid hanging around him when we are alone because we have a lot of chemistry. I'm not the cheating type, but this guy drives me dangerously close to the edge. I sincerely feel like if given a decent shot, we'd be a good couple. However, this is an impossibility right now; I'm in love with Scott and don't want to fuck that up. Furthermore, he has his own girlfriend to worry about. In a flurry of honesty, I tell him all of this. He puts his arm around me and says that he feels the same way. Pulling me close, he gives me one sweet kiss, telling me that until our timing is better and the stars align properly in our direction, we shouldn't even be near each other.

On that note, we decide to go base jumping together. With a small group, we are lifted in a helicopter to a canyon ridge. One deep breath, and I jump off of the edge. For a few blissful moments, I am hanging in midair. Then, I pull my chute and float down into an area heavily populated with saplings. The saplings are difficult to walk through without being whacked by them at every turn. Eventually, by playing a kind of Marco Polo, yelling for each other, my friend and I find each other. I am so happy to see him, but this time, I keep my distance.

2. Given Kori's mother's condition, I also had several dreams revolving around cancer and hospitals last night. I've got no detail, thankfully, though it was a less than pleasant night, as far as dreams go.

1. My friend Joe and I are walking in the woods (Joe is someone invented by my subconscious). We're some sort of gypsy people who leech off of others, a la The Riches. However, right now, we're wandering through the woods and we're getting concerned. Nothing looks familiar, and we can't find a path or anything to follow. I'm getting disoriented very quickly; everything looks the same in this area of woods. There are many animals in these woods. I see a group of monkeys about the size of house cats playing around, and I want to mess with them. As soon as I grab one, they all begin screeching and clawing at me violently. Joe and I work together to pull the attacking monkeys off me, and we have to sprint away to avoid further attack. As a result, we're now really lost. A few unnerving minutes pass, and finally we see a group of people walking through the forest. We follow at a distance, and they lead us to a clearing in the woods, in front of which is a paved road and a row of houses -- a normal city street.

We join the group of 20-odd people. They are headed to the waterfront and board a large cruise boat. We soon learn that we're going on a cruise with other students from Alaska to Vanilla (In my dream state, Vanilla was an actual place name). Joe and I find it easy to assimilate with the other students, as we're the appropriate age and have similar interests. We have no problem convincing everyone that we, too, have dropped several thousand dollars on a cruise dream vacation. I find myself very attracted to my friend, Joe, and we share some picturesque smooches on the deck of the ship (think Titanic, without the tragedy part).

When we reach the next port o' call, the people in charge announce that they're going to go through our payment vouchers individually. We'll need proof of payment, photo ID, and proof of vaccination (I'm not sure exactly what disease we were planning to catch in Alaska, but whatever). Since Joe and I have none of the above, we invent a scheme to get off of the boat. I invent a sob story about my family and have the head woman in tears. She lets Joe and I go without a hitch. We're disappointed that we have to miss out on this amazing-sounding cruise with some great fellow travelers. Joe and I resolve to have a better back story and forged papers the next time we board a cruise ship.

2. I had another dream starring my family, but I only have fragments:
- My dad lines up all of the debit cards of all my family members in a row on a table. Mine is missing, and I'm distraught. I go on a mad search for the card. It turns up eventually.
- My entire family is being towed behind a large motorboat. We're going out to some island owned by a family friend.
- This "family friend" has some sort of plot to kidnap us and force us into a life of hard labor / sex slavery. We foil the plot, of course.

1. A great poli sci professor I have taken a class with is leaving. I'm saddened, because Sarah will never get to take a class with him here at UW (So far, all this is actually true). As I'm walking somewhere outside, I run into Kristina, who's just coming from the professor's going-away party. She points me in the right direction, and I head to his party. The party ends up being a large-scale kegger, and I find and say hello/final goodbyes to my professor. I find myself very attracted to him at this party. However, he's got a wife and two kids, and is as good as gold, so I'm not going to push it into crossing the line with him, even if he'd be into it.

2. My second dream was something about working in a research lab that studies fingerprints. I fucked up some sort of lab technique and my grad student was all over my ass about it. That's all I remember.

3. I'm in my dentist's office at home for an appointment. We're about ready to get started, and the dentist takes out one of those little mouth mirrors and checks me out. To my horror, I remember that prior to going to the office, I've been munching on Cheese-Its, and they're stuck everywhere in my teeth. I go back to my house to brush my teeth (don't know why I couldn't have brushed them in the dentist's office). By the time I get back, the hygienist informs me that we've got to get going; I've only got an hour left on my scheduled appointment. She's smoking hot and wearing an extremely low-cut shirt. As she's getting everything ready for the dentist, her boobs keep falling out of her shirt. When I inform her of this, far from being embarrassed, she starts doing a little sexy dance for me. I am flabbergasted. Suddenly, about four or five photographers with professional cameras bust in and inform me that they've got a great picture they have to take. They take a very high-resolution picture of a fly sitting on my chest and run out again. Then, the dentist comes in the room, and everything about the appointment returns to mundane normality.

1. I am dating two men. One is my old physics TA, very sweet and somewhat awkward. The other is nowhere near as nice to me, but he's a hundred times more attractive. Unbelievable-looking, really. I'm seeing them both behind each other's backs, and, unfortunately, physics guy catches me with gorgeous guy. He pulls me aside and tells me that he's not going to put up with this; I've got to make a decision. I remember feeling very upset, but I didn't make a decision in the dream. Interesting moral dilemma, though.

2. Though I'm not a member of the Hoofers sailing club, I've convinced one of my friends who is a member to loan me one of their small sailboats. I take the boat out onto Lake Monona. It's a beautiful, windy day, and I'm having a fantastic time on the water. However, given my klutzy tendencies, this sailing skill that I'm suddenly displaying is bound not to last. I get too close to the shore and crash the boat into some rocks, leaving behind a couple of pieces of sailboat that look, um, important for continued sailboat functioning. In fact, I'm barely able to get the boat back to the Hoofers dock. The people in charge are furious with me and my friend. They send us out to the crash site with scuba gear and assign us to look for pieces of sailboat wreckage. Unfortunately, I'm not certified for scuba, and I'm apprehensive about getting the bends. I refuse to scuba without training, leaving my pissed-off Hoofers friend to do all the grunt work.

I'm in my apartment looking for my new kitten. I already have a cat; I call her Sensi, like Sensimilia, Kori's cat, but she's white instead of black. This new kitten is a few weeks old, just big enough to fit from my wrist to fingertips in my hand. She's also completely white. However, this kitten is extremely shy.

To get her to come out, I behave like a cat, as I learned in my human-animal relations class. I sit quietly and scan left to right across the room. Even though I'm interested in the kitten, I don't act like it. She eventually comes over to say hello. I realize right away that she's actually a he, and he's not been neutered yet (I should certainly get on that). Good thing I haven't gotten around to naming him yet. For some reason, when he tries to get away from me, he starts squirming like a normal cat, but then collapses flat, like a flattened box. I get really worried about him, as I haven't seen this behavior before. Someone beside me reassures me that he's seen this before. It won't be a problem; he'll "reinflate" to normal kitten size in a few minutes, once his stress levels go down.

I'm getting back to my apartment after spending a Sunday night at Scott's apartment in Watertown. Much to my surprise, I don't live in my State Street apartment with Tiff, but in a larger apartment with all my old roommates except Katie. I'm not upset that I'm living with these particular people, but the place is a wreck. Even my room (I at least had my own room, thank God) is totally torn apart for some reason. All the artwork up on my walls has been moved around to different places in the apartment. Bridget's cooking pesto spaghetti in the kitchen and it's getting everywhere. I'm getting all worked up, because I don't have much time to undo this damage before I have to go to class. Briana pulls me aside and admits that this mess is driving her totally crazy, too. She calms me down.

For some reason, I had sex at the end of this dream. I don't remember who I was having sex with at all.

Earlier in the night, I also dreamt that I was a mobster (due to the fact that I watched The Sopranos last night before bed). I don't have details, but I'm pretty sure that I killed a few people without remorse.

Scott, Courtney, and I are going into a convenience store which we frequent. It's early in the morning, and we're surprised to find the front doors unlocked and wide open with no employees on duty inside. Nothing in the store seems out of place, but after a look at the employee schedule in the break room, we realize that our friend Hassett is supposed to be working right now. We quickly go to the front doors and deter potential customers from entering. A few minutes later, Hassett shows up. He apologizes, says he's been working far too much recently. Then he notices that the store's already unlocked, we're already inside. He's shocked, and after a second check of the employee schedule, we know the guilty party who failed to lock the doors to the store last night is none other than my 11th grade precalc teacher (Kori and I, and probably everyone else, just loathed this guy).

It's time to go to school, so I jump into the van with Mama, who's waiting in the store's parking lot. She drives me to my old high school. My first class is precalc, and I'm so thrilled that I can blackmail my precalc teacher. The next time he's a dick, I'll just threaten to bring the hammer down on this whole convenience store irresponsibility, and he's have to back the fuck off.

I don't have details of last night's dream. However, in the evening, I watched as sneak preview of "Knocked Up", the new Judd Apatow film, at the Union.

Consequently, I dreamt that I was pregnant. Not the initial shock of pregnancy, mind you, but second-trimesterish with a significant belly developing. I remember how surreal it was to have this body with something growing inside it, but I've got no detail. I don't even know who the father was.

1. I'm at home and Mama tells me that Laura and Emily are going on this cool canoe trip. It's been organized through my old high school somehow and, from the sound of it, the trip's going to be a couple of days long. She asks me if I'd like to go. I haven't been in a canoe for a while, and this trip sounds like a great idea. I get busy packing for the trip. Among the items packed are half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and my pink bikini (which seems ill-suited for use on a canoe trip). Everything's packed in this black backpack that I bought at Afterthoughts when I was a kid.

Anyway, we get to the launch point and there's a handful of kids and our guides there. For some reason, someone brought a monkey with us. This monkey is the polar opposite of the gorilla in the last post; he's playful and friendly and just mischievous enough to keep us interested but not piss us off. I'm really into the idea of this trip and am ready to get rolling. Just then, my mom asks me if I brought the money for the trip. She drops this bomb on me that the canoe trip costs $1700. Since I definitely don't feel like emptying my checking account for a trip I thought was free, I can't go. Laura, Emily, and the monkey push off and leave me.

2. I am in the Sparta library (I haven't been there in years, on account of I owe them a chunk of change in fines from high school). I walk into a side room that's used for meetings. In the room are a dozen or so naked people, mostly couples. They're engaging in a raucous partner-swapping orgy. I'm not really into the whole orgy scene, but I do see one guy I'm attracted to. He's delivering a news broadcast in the corner of the room and looks suspiciously like the guy who played Doogie Howser, MD. While he's on camera, I go under his desk and begin having sex with him (I don't understand the mechanics of this, either). I'm amazed at his composure; he continues to deliver the news without much ado. Fast forward a few minutes, and we're all dressed, sitting in on a Q&A session for the people who organized the orgy. They're asking questions to its patrons -- what did you like, what didn't you like, etc. A woman gives me her business card and says that we have to do this again sometime. She looks like one of the women on Real Housewives of Orange County, but the name on her business card is the same as the name of the dean of students here.

I go upstairs in the library and look for a journal article about Dickens. They keep all the journals behind the desk in the library, and I'm struck at how few there are here compared with the libraries at the UW. Instead of my article, the librarian mistakenly hands me a stack of papers that Kori wrote in middle school. Included is the one she wrote about the kid who painted his car with a illustrated version of "American Pie", including "The day the music died" scrawled over the hood. I'm excited to show the papers to Kori, but the librarian won't let me keep them, says they're a matter of public record now. I resolve to break into the library later and get them.